On an early November morn, I woke up with the same fervor I have developed in the recent months of my life. I went to the kitchen to make me my daily stimulant. I had the first sip at my favorite comfort beverage in my favorite coffee cup. It was heaven. I was ready for my day. It may be a weekend but I was enthused to go to my workplace. My classroom has become my second home. I have regained my passion in continuing what I have pledged to the new generation of this country – the hope of the modern society. But things were never like this in the past. I was a disappointment. I was a menace to the professional world I am a part of. I was uninspired, thereby, I was unwanted.

I am not the most intellectual of teachers, but I am not the dullest (not that I have met or came across a DULL teacher either). I may not be as clever as my seniors; but novice as I was, I firmly believe that my ability is not second-rate. I knew for a fact that I can be equally good. But something is dragging me down.

I have developed the annoying sense of procrastination and indolence that affected my once brilliant persona in the society I am living in. I became tired of working. I became one of the most lethargic of the pack. It may be because I saw that nobody trusted my wit and flair; but the more I pretended that I did not care, the more they showed that I was not a loss to the system.

I became miserably incompetent. My self-esteem went from a “perfect 10” to zero. I was at the lowest point of my life – holistically. Though it was the situation, I continued on playacting that nothing was wrong, that everything was in sync. Days went on with me having to paint fake smiles on my face in order to show the world that I was ok. My façade was the exact opposite of what’s inside me. I was the clown they wanted me to be; I became someone I did not expect I will be.

Days, weeks, months passed when I continued to think that I will be fine. That there will always be a rainbow at the end of each storm; nonetheless, I realized that rainbows only appear when the right amount of sparkle from what’s left of the rain catches the glistening rays of the sun. If I don’t do something to turn the tables around and make this gloomy situation forever drag me down, then I will never see a single tint of color from the mystical arcs in my sky ever again.

My coffee cups were no longer sweet. They turned to the most acrimonious taste any human tongue can think of. They were no longer boosting my day, they were ruining it. I developed my great sense of dislike for it, until coffee was no longer a part of my daily regimen.

One early humid Wednesday made me realize my worth, though. My former teacher who became a colleague and confidant approached me and asked me for a talk over a cup of coffee in the school canteen. I was hesitant. I do not enjoy the smell of coffee anymore. But she was persistent. Nonetheless, it was not the tenacity in her voice that convinced me, it was her serene and compassionate demeanor that made me want to sip coffee again.

Unexpectedly, she gave the most enthralling news I have ever received for the longest time. Our conversation pierced my heart deeply which made my eyes filled with tears that were not of sorrow. For the first time, I felt that someone had trusted me again. My self-worth has escalated once more. Heaven must be one angel less because she was there that time talking to me. It was my turning point. Her halo, though invisible, radiated a sympathetic and inspirational aura that taught me a lot of self-realization. It was all that I needed.

The mornings after that became much more sugary and clear. I started liking the aroma of freshly brewed coffee once more. Each cup reminded me of the energetic vibe I once and always possessed. I can taste each liquefied granule burst with sweetness and vigor. The more I sip, the more I get to the old me – confident, goal-oriented and focused.

The weekend sunshine was bright and comforting that early November morn. I got up after I took my last sip from my coffee cup. I savored all of it. I smiled, looking back at my reminiscence; and thanked the Lord for giving me back my self-worth and composure through the fragrance of recently brewed coffee.

Cheers to a million cups more.

Cheers to teachers who wake up each morning for different reasons but with one purpose.

Cheers to a multitude of coffee cups.

Published and owned by: Ronan C. Relova, Teacher III- MNCHS English Department